So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
