If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
