1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
