just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
