Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
