I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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