We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
