Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
