After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
