She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize