Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
