honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
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