Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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