Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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