Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he laminated a picture of his dick.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
