so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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