Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
