Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
