We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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