i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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