i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
