I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She needs sedatives and a leash
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
