I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
