Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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