Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
