Already got asked if we're dating
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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