I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
