mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
NoShamevember. You game?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
