We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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