I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
