we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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