my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
