Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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