omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
