I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
