Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
