Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
