It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
