I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Two words: blizzard sex
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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