R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
