sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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