Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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