The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
