How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
