just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
