They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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