my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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