My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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