hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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