you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
