and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What drink are we having for lunch?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
