Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
