I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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