I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
