There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
