a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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