Fine. I'll sleep in my office
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
