My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize