So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
