I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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