He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
